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Credit where credit's due - to these people!

Also, come on, don't look at me like that, at least it's not Clegg/Cameron RPF. Although I keep watching this and trying very hard not to chew my fingers.

ficlet:: a historic and seismic shift
by Raven
PG, gen, HP/RPF. David Cameron's first night in office.


Westminster, 11th May 2010

The sun's gone down, and not on Portillo. He remembers it, but not as well as he tells people he does; he was up for the count at Stafford and the night was long and it all blurs now, anyway. It was a long time ago and it's not important. It's quiet, at last. The evening has been crawling with press and Liberal Democrats. It's quiet in this large, old, airy office, it's quiet in the halls of power beneath.

David – he tried Dave, he really did; he'd like to be an easy-going monosyllable, like Nick, but it's never felt less than trying too hard – crosses the floor of his new home and shuts the door, and does a long, slow twirl around his new domain, and then the portrait on the wall speaks to him.

It's a very ugly portrait. It depicts a small, froglike man in a long silver wig. David turns around and blinks, and thinks it's been a long day and he hasn't had much sleep lately, and, and, he'll have a word with someone in the morning...

"Excuse me," says the portrait again. "Oh, dear, no one ever mentioned he might be hard of hearing."

"I'm not hard of hearing!" David snaps, and then realises he's talking to a portrait. It did speak to him first, but politics is a hard life and he's been under a lot of mental strain lately.

"Good," says the portrait. "She asks: you do have all your clothes on, don't you? Not in the middle of anything private?"

David just blinks. "Private?"

"Too late anyway."

Then his fireplace glows green and a woman steps out. David takes a deep breath and thinks about mental strain, and the way politics gets under your skin sometimes, and didn't Campbell have a breakdown in the early nineties? Something like that. Another deep breath. It's been a long day.

"Sorry about that," says the woman, brushing soot and ash off her clothes – she's wearing some sort of sub fusc, with twiddly bits – "it's always best to be sure, one of my predecessors walked in on Major during an, ah, unguarded moment. I'm sorry, are you all right?"

"You" – David pauses. "You've just walked out of my fireplace. There is a security force just outside this room."

"Yes, there was," the woman says cheerfully. "They're having a bit of a nap right now. No, don't" – as he reaches for the phone – "it'll do no good. Trust me. Listen, it'll be best for both of us if you sit down."

He sits down. He's very tired, and this is feeling like autopilot. "Who are you?"

"I am the Secretary of State for Magical Affairs," she says, and smiles. "It's not a cabinet post most of the time. That said, most people do call me the Minister for Magic."

"You're... who?"

She reaches for his hand. Numbly, he goes to shake it, with the muscle memory overriding conscious thought, and she smiles at him, warmly. "Oh, and my name is Hermione Granger. It's a pleasure to meet you, Prime Minister."

It's only about the second or third time someone who isn't from the BBC has called him that, and the warm glow spreads to his toes even as he says, "What do you mean, magic?"

"Now" – she consults a clipboard which he could swear wasn't there a moment before – "I understand you lead a coalition government. That's a little problematic. Perhaps you could organise a meeting with the other chap some time soon? If you can get him up to this office unaccompanied we'll take care of the rest."

"The other..."

"Nice man, wears a yellow tie on the television? You'll have to excuse my ignorance, I've been perched on the roof at work holding up a TV aerial trying to escape the magical interference, it's been very exasperating. Now, about..."

"Wait!" He takes a step back, privately castigates himself for yelling – the media doesn't like it – and follows it up with a deep breath. "I don't know who you are, madam, and I don't know how you got into this office, but..."

She waves a lazy hand. "Look, it's been a difficult night for me as well and I'd quite like to go home and go to bed. Briefly: yes, magic exists, yes, there are witches and wizards in Britain, there have been for centuries, there are many, many people who already know this, and more than one of them is in your cabinet, in case you want to go and have a good shout about it tomorrow. Your deputy doesn't, and he needs to know. And if you're lucky, you won't ever see me again."

David just blinks at her.

"If you need me for any reason, ask the portrait on the wall. And don't, for heaven's sake, try to take it down. It won't come off. A couple of governments ago someone almost broke their teeth trying."

"Magic doesn't exist," David tells her. "Magic is fairy tales."

Granger sighs, snaps her fingers and suddenly his whole office is full of birds of paradise. They fly around the top of the room, squawk, shed a bit, and disappear. She mutters something– Latin, he thinks – and it starts to snow. The flakes drift down, settle on his hair and start to melt. She says something else and suddenly there's a bunch of flowers in her arms. Still smiling, she hands it to him and he accepts wordlessly.

"Right." She takes a final look around the room. "I think that's everything." She bows her head slightly, and turns towards the flames. "Goodnight, Prime Minister."

The fireplace glows green again, and she's gone. Once again, all is quiet.

David sets the flowers on the table. He picks a feather off the floor, then drops it again. Crossing the floor again, he pours himself a stiff drink from the sideboard, and wonders if these people pay taxes.

end.

Comments

( 137 comments — Leave a comment )
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rhipowered
May. 12th, 2010 05:07 pm (UTC)
This...almost makes it better again. WIN.
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:38 pm (UTC)
Happy to oblige! *grins*
foreverdirt
May. 12th, 2010 05:07 pm (UTC)
Although I keep watching this and trying very hard not to chew my fingers.

!!!!! *chews own fingers*

wonders if these people pay taxes.

Made of win.
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:38 pm (UTC)
*happyface* That clip, Katy. WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING IT.
teh_elb
May. 12th, 2010 05:09 pm (UTC)
SQUEEE and LOVE and YAY HERMIONE I LOVE YOU HERMIONE.
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:39 pm (UTC)
I LOVE HER TOO OH SO MUCH

*squishes you*
(no subject) - teh_elb - May. 12th, 2010 05:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - loneraven - May. 12th, 2010 05:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
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soupytwist
May. 12th, 2010 05:12 pm (UTC)
LOLOLOLOLOL GENIUS AHAHAHA.

(Aw, Hermione!)
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:39 pm (UTC)
*grins* If not genius, then something.
(no subject) - soupytwist - May. 12th, 2010 06:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
bookwormsarah
May. 12th, 2010 05:12 pm (UTC)
I didn't think it was possible, but David Cameron RPF...priceless. The idea of someone from the Ministry walking in on John Major and Edwina Currie (I presume) caused a combination of a laugh and an 'ewwww'. Mind if I rec this?

I wonder/dread to think who in the new cabinet knows about magic...
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:14 pm (UTC)
John Major and Edwina Currie, yes, that! *laughs* Thank you, and of course you can rec it!

the simplest explanation: they have children at Hogwarts!
(no subject) - nineveh_uk - May. 12th, 2010 06:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bookwormsarah - May. 12th, 2010 06:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
silveronthetree
May. 12th, 2010 05:14 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful and I'm intrigued by and more than one of them is in your cabinet, in case you want to go and have a good shout about it tomorrow.
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:40 pm (UTC)
*grins* Thanks! I merely thought that the Cabinet is pretty large, and quite a few members of it have school-age children...
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theapink
May. 12th, 2010 05:18 pm (UTC)
This almost made having the twunt as PM ok! Brilliant!

(I half-wrote Brown/clegg/Cameron RPS the othe day...*runs*)
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:41 pm (UTC)
a) thank you and b) I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT ALONE.
ellielabelle
May. 12th, 2010 05:22 pm (UTC)
That's almost lovely! (Well, the story is definitely lovely, but PM Cameron is the not lovely bit, you know what I mean I'm sure) And of course he'd think Hermione was all sub fusc'd up.

I have seen explicit Clegg/Cameron in actual existence. RPF as porny satire? Possibly?
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:42 pm (UTC)
"almost lovely", heee! Thank you!

(I have given up thinking of it is satire. I JUST WANT CLEGG/CAMERON RPF. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.)
(Deleted comment)
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:42 pm (UTC)
Somehow it is not difficult to write the man in-character. thank you!
wildestranger
May. 12th, 2010 05:25 pm (UTC)
and wonders if these people pay taxes.

Pfft, tories.

Not that I wouldn't like to see some Clegg/Cameron as well - like the BBC, I rather think they are begging for it.
ellielabelle
May. 12th, 2010 05:32 pm (UTC)
I can show you where someone has written some.

It has ruined the news for me for the duration of their political careers.
(no subject) - wildestranger - May. 12th, 2010 05:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ellielabelle - May. 12th, 2010 05:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
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emily_shore
May. 12th, 2010 05:30 pm (UTC)
Lovely. :)
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:44 pm (UTC)
<3
biascut
May. 12th, 2010 05:30 pm (UTC)
ACES!

loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:44 pm (UTC)
*laughs* this stuff writes itself without any conscious input from me.

Edited at 2010-05-12 05:44 pm (UTC)
marymac
May. 12th, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, you are absolutely terrible.
*dies*

So, what about poor old Nick, then?
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:45 pm (UTC)
I do not reject this assessment. :) Nick gets his turn! Once he's, you know. Come up to Dave's office. Alone. Unaccompanied. For a very special meeting.

*d&r*
(no subject) - marymac - May. 12th, 2010 07:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
coloursofdusk
May. 12th, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! <3 Hermione and all the little details "...he tried Dave, he really did..."

I'm so pleased the BBC put that clip up! I thought we'd have to wait for Youtube. My housemates and I were willing them to hold hands and skip away through the garden after the press conference. Lots of "Nick's switched the papers to his other hand, go, David, go! Aw... He's switched them back. Maybe he realised what David was thinking?" None of us really write RPF, let alone RPS, but they were having a proper love-in this afternoon, it was impossible to ignore!
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 05:46 pm (UTC)
Ahaha, I thought the same thing! The garden, the gentle ribbing, the TOTAL LOVE-IN. Srsly.

(and thank you!)
osymandias
May. 12th, 2010 06:06 pm (UTC)
:-) Oh, that's wonderful!
loneraven
May. 12th, 2010 10:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :)
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( 137 comments — Leave a comment )

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Mary Oliver

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